So When I became a father about 18 months ago, we naturally did some clothing shopping and noticed that there was very little in choices for fathers and their newborn. all the clothing revolved around the grandmother or the mom being praised, but nothing celebrating the father in anyway. so where were the fatherhood designs?
Well I thought that was a little bit unfair, so I decided to start a range of designs aimed at praising being a father. Being Christian as well, some of our designs are also aimed at what it means to be a Christian father. How does Christian fatherhood and gentle parenting combine? We had the grandparents who had the old view that physical discipline( and considering discipline means to teach, I don't see what you teach a child by hitting them) was biblical. But unfortunately this cant be proven with the bible. What seems to have happened is that people took the verses talking about spare the rod, and understood it to actually mean a physical rod. but lets unpack that shall we. A shepherd in biblical times had a rod and a staff, both were used to protect the sheep, but each had a unique purpose. the Rod was a heavier tool used to defend the sheep against animals, and for counting and a gentle prod when required. but sometimes the sheep dont listen, that is where the staff came into it. The staff was a larger stick with a crooked end, which was used to gently but firmly pull the sheep back into wherever it was supposed to be. So when the bible talks about spare the rod, and based upon the usage of it back then, it can be determined that the rod was not referring to physical punishment, but rather guidance and teaching, and perhaps beating away the negative things that might come into your child's life. But I would not suggest beating your child's friends who are potentially a bad influence. that could end you up in trouble. Psychology teaches us the best way to raise a child is through a method called gentle/authoritative parenting. A lot of Christians would say psychology is not biblical, but we go to doctors for our bodies, why cant we go to doctors for our minds. We listen to dentists to brush our teeth, where does it say to do that in the bible. So why cant we as Christians go to people who study the mind for help understanding ourselves. Authoritative parenting revolves around mutual respect, conversations, boundaries, understanding and basically all the stuff Jesus tells us to be with each other. So there is a rod and a staff, it is just used wisely and appropriately. It has been proven through studies that physical discipline results negative outcomes for the child, from anger issues, bad school performance, bad relationships with others, and more. The reason why this continues is simple, in my view. It was what happened to me as a child and I am ok now, so I can repeat it to my children. But as an adult, can we honestly look back to our younger selves and say what happened was ok. I have the view that when it comes to this, you don't know what you do not know. If we had to be honest with ourselves, can we look at our lives and what we do and how we behave and perhaps admit that maybe it actually affected us negatively. there is no shame in admitting it might have hurt you, but everyone can change. I have to deal with grandparents who still want to physically discipline my son and remind then over and over why not to. Changing minds takes time, longsuffering is the appropriate term I believe. So if you are interested in learning more about this type of parenting. there are multiple resources for this: very well mind
if you are interested in following our designs based around being a father, you can view our Zazzle store here. We traditionally did outdoor, nature and wildlife photography, but had the inspiration to start a line of designs aimed at fathers, fatherhood, Christianity and gentle parenting when we saw how little there was actually out there about this.
Comments