When my son was going to be born, naturally all the gifts we got had included clothing of some nature. But there was a aspect to this clothing I did not appreciate as a new dad-to-be. What I was looking for designs that praised me as a father, while I was learning how to be a parent to a child. Thankfully there are many resources out there that educate us on Toddlers, Fathers and Parenting. Everything was praising the mothers and the grandmothers, but there was nothing praising the fathers in the lot. the closest was a bodysuit that told the father where to put the arms and legs with arrows. While I understand and can appreciate the humor that dad's are clueless when it comes to babies, we still play a role in the child's life and so a little celebration and positivity coming our way would have been nice as well.
So I decided to start creating a range of designs that promote the healthy fathers out there. Clothing and father positive items which celebrate and say the good we are doing. Fathers play an important role in the development of their children as well, and we should and are required to be an active part of our children's lives. A stable nuclear family is important to raise well adjusted children. And I mean that in the traditional sense, a mother, a father and children. and yes its a biologically female mother, a biologically male father. I don't hate anyone who feels that they are different than what their body suggests, but I have chosen a set of standards and principles to live by, and asking me to adjust and accept a unproven idea of gender dysphoria affirmation which has no scientific or psychological backing is unfortunately not how I operate. I understand they feel a certain way, and that's ok, just like it is ok for people to have feelings of anger, joy, sadness, betrayal etc. But the problem comes in when you tell the world to leave you with your feelings and ask everyone else to adjust to it. If someone said I am angry and have the right to scream and throw fits in the middle of the office at everyone I want because they feel like it, they would be told to seek counselling on healthy ways to deal with it. So if a person feels like they are different to what their body is, that's their issue to work through and figure out. Why should the rest of the world have to accept and be accommodating to that one person and their feelings. The world doesn't have to accommodate for every small personal belief out there, they get told to leave it behind sometimes eg political, religious etc. So shouldn't the same standard apply to sexual beliefs. Don't bring it into the world where it just makes everyone jump around you. I heard a story of a woman who changed her views on herself daily at the office. One day she was he/her, then them/they, then xie/xer, then wolf/self, and sent out a daily email telling people how to address her, and if you got it wrong, you got reported to HR every time and was told to do sensitivity training. Eventually people just started using her name instead. Now the above just screams either a cry for attention, or looking to cause trouble daily to make her feel important. Either way, there was a psychological aspect to this, and it cant be ignored for the sake of someone's feelings. Fathers play an important role in how their children develop. It has been studied that, amongst other aspects, fathers can influence:
Boys: Their dad may be a role model. Some research suggests that their father’s influence may have a lot to do with how sociable boys are.
Girls: Having a good relationship with their father can have an impact on their self-esteem and sense of identity, especially while they are teenagers.
Teenagers: Fathers are especially important in the teenage years. They may help with setting limits or may have a particular role in helping the teens to spread their wings.
Fathers are no longer just limited to the financial and disciplinarian aspects of raising a child. This is thankfully a very old outdated idea that has long gone hopefully and psychology can teach us what children actually need from fathers. Fathers who get involved are less likely to have children who:
have teenage birth
being expelled
serve jail time
and can influence positive things like:
how to talk to their future spouses
make better life choices
better cognitive development
feel more loved
So when those birthdays and special events come around for your children, make a fuss, get involved, plan a party, read to your kids, play with them, enjoy your children.
And don't forget you have a spouse/partner who can assist you with the bad days, you will get frustrated, you will get angry, its normal, its about how you deal with it. Talk to your wife, talk to your psychologist, mental health is important. Men don't have to be strong and hide everything they feel. I talk about my emotions whenever the pop up with my wife. And it's ok. We are following the gentle parenting approach as well, which you can read about further as well. It was a mind-shift from the traditional spank your children into submission approach we grew up with, but it is rated as the best way to raise children, and will require adjustment from your side, but be patient with yourself.
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